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About Deviant Alex RigautOther/Malaysia Groups :iconhandrendered: HandRendered
Drawn By Hand
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Hello! As the title says, I have decided to leave this account. (By 1st October I will no longer go on this account).
That doesn't mean I'll leave deviantART though. I'll still be around as PeachyProtist. I won't be deactivating because I'd like whatever drawings I have posted here to remain here. So if you want to un-watch this account, feel free to do so. If you want to talk to me or anything like that, you can follow or message me at PeachyProtist.

The reason for leaving this account is because I simply have no desire or motivation to continue as this personality. It's been almost a year since I've made any serious artwork in the Perfidious style or even attempted to experiment with acrylics, colour pencils, etc. Looking back at the artwork I made, makes me feel strange and emotional. I know and understand the feelings very well since I'm the maker. I simply don't want to think of it, to remember it or to relive the emotions. It's not me. Liya Perfidious is dead. I don't see the point of reviving them anymore.

R.I.P. Liya Perfidious

Artwork from 2011~2017

To Live Like You by liyaperfidious Nomad by liyaperfidious And I Loved You So Much by liyaperfidious Solitary Confinement For The Dreamer by liyaperfidious In My Dreams by liyaperfidious [Executions] His Name is 14 by liyaperfidious
Just Waiting to Break by liyaperfidious I Belong in Another World by liyaperfidious
____________

Interruption
1 (“Higher”)
I pride myself
in meaningless numbers
I rise
When others sink
I achieve
all they couldn't
2  (“A Minor Setback”)
Ephemeral and abrupt
Progress came to a halt
Emotions erupt
transforming self-reliance
into self-repugnance
As I see
there is nothing left to gain
I became
afraid of who I was
Drenched in shame
I turned into them
a being without a name
3 (“Longevity”)
The hums of machines
Its purrs so deep
it sings me to sleep
But in every slumber
underlies
a permanent unease
The sound of warplanes
unfeeling and everlasting
taking me back
to every battle fought
to every battle lost
The pieces of me
scattered in the ocean
some washed ashore
I picked up what I could
All diamond and gold
in my hands
they turn into coal
My Handprints on The Table I want to waste time
Recalling a traumatic past
I want to lose sight of myself
In the crowd of my thoughts
When spoken to, only silence remains
I don’t hear what numbers tell
But here I am in search for myself
In the fine coats of mirrors
Couldn’t we lie down for a little while longer?
How rare it is to be in bandages
When I have drowned for too long
In false birthday wishes
Every second is a minute too late
And the cube revolves in a rush
We are left behind again
It’s such a pity that nothing requires effort
Everything is cheap and easily achieved
The fact is it is both right and wrong
To die here without anyone by my side
Watched by the many eyes of the trees
By contrails of old voices
I am told to remember:
 “We exist solely to pave our perception
With delusions of grandeur
Creating a hollow shell
A meticulous trap hidden within
And we keep secrets from ourselves
So that we would never know
How much in pain we actually are
Nostalgia meanders
Through the
I Want To _____ AgainIt is always silent for me
Every sound
Every shout
Every voice
Is the same
Muted cacophony
They all sound alike
In my mind
It is always the end for me
Let me fall
Let me drown
Let me decay
All is done
Nothing can change
They all shy away
Far from me.
My soul and existence
Is from God
And he has lent me
This physical form
So I may rectify the wrongs
of the world.
But the burden
Is too heavy for me.
I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry.
Is this my punishment? My perdition?
He Is My Spider AAnd who should I love more,
A man I have never met,
Or myself?
Does it matter to him,
Either course I take?
He has never seen me
And it is better that way
If we were to meet,
We would no longer feel
The beauty of mystery
He is not a guardian angel
He is not a valiant warrior
He is not a prince charming
And it is clear now
That I have fallen deeply
In love with his mind
And the trail of fire his pencil leaves
As each stroke is made purely
Out of madness and spite
And it tears me apart
Knowing he will only be in dreams
Where I cannot feel
And that I’d soon wake up
To a world without him
And life would be as it was,
Merely an empty page
  Atmosphere or BlindnessSmall black disk moving in connection with the cross,
Sun will set before the phenomenon of two tigers and a noose,
There have been no ends.
Strangers in the vicinity,
Met with seized carcasses with a leopard yesterday,
And are arrested,
Mad.
Investigations.
Set it up,
The incidents of the animals across the face,
700,000 carcasses shelter to house the killing of their members.
June 6,
The Sun's chemical was killed at Venus,
Humane Truth,
Injecting anyone to sleep by attacking
The permanent sunrise.
Eye damage because the sun rises
Before the killings.
GlassI hate the words I rehearse.
I hate the flow of the ink.
The art formed is insincere.
Every trickle of tears,
Every curvature of a smile.
Expatriated by rancour.
I sit exposed under the sun,
I sit alone and defenceless.
Endless rusted condition.
Here on this land etched a symbol,
Here on this land my hated canvas.
I dismiss detestation.
I break my fingers again,
I break my mind.
Trying to be whole.
I hate the words I rehearse.
I hate the flow of the ink.
What I have become repulses me.

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